


A Gem's Despair

by ClaireKat



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One Shot, Preview
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4831148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireKat/pseuds/ClaireKat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sodalite consults with Moonstone about her current state of being.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gem's Despair

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little snippet of my gemsona fanfic I decided to post. I don't know if I'll add anymore but if people are interested I might try to! Thanks for checking it out and reading and I hope you enjoy!

She sat quietly, resting her chin on her knees as she stared into the pool before her that reflected a mixture of dark blue and purple shades. A myriad of other colors could be gleaned from the murky yet smooth, crystalline water, but none of them seemed to glow in the eyes of the Gem that sat silently on the shore. She pondered dipping her foot into the water for a moment, just enough to disrupt the eerily still surface with a simple poke before quickly shooting down her own idea. There was nothing but regret, heart ache, and self-loathing swirling around in her chest, and she was content to keep it that way.

She sighed. Would these feelings ever leave her? She couldn’t even rightly decipher what they were, why she was shaken to the core with the loss of the only Gem she had felt whole with. Was she cursed to carry this burden, to live with this weight for all eternity? Perhaps if that was the case she was better off just shattering herself now. She moved her hand to the base of her neck carefully, sweeping her hair to the side and until her fingers found the smooth surface of her gem. It would be so simple to just crush it in her fingers, or perhaps even easier to jump from a great height and orchestrate landing directly on it. Anything that would instantly shatter her into a million pieces, pieces that were broken and jagged and couldn’t be put back together in any way…that’s all that she wanted. She wanted to stop existing. She wanted to get away from this pain. But even in nonexistence, would she really be able to escape it?

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

The voice was familiar to her, but she was almost angry enough to turn on the intruder and run them through with her scythe without a second thought.

“Pink Diamond has been asking for you…she said that she needs you to do another reading, she needs someone to help her with some planning—”

“Can’t she just get a Sapphire or another Moonstone to do it? I’m not feeling well; I won’t be able to give very sound advice.”

“You’re the best divining and strategizing Gem she knows,” the other Gem, Sodalite, replied. “That’s why Pink Diamond is asking for you specifically. I’m not going back to her with a no; you know that. You don’t just tell the Diamond Authority no because you weren’t feeling well on a certain day. Especially when she was kind enough to absorb you into her ranks when the nature of your treachery was revealed rather than just executing or exiling you. Quit playing games and let’s go—”

The Moonstone spun around and rose to her feet, her eyes blazing with a heat and a rage that Sodalite was surprised hadn’t set them on fire already. “Moonstone, please. How long are you going to throw a pity party like this? It isn’t very becoming of the Diamond Authority’s most highly esteemed cosmic seer—”

“No, I was never that Gem! You and I both know that I’m not that Gem, I can’t be the Gem anymore! _Morganite_ was that Gem! Morganite was their soldier, their navigator, their advisor! I’m just Moonstone now, and I can never be the Morganite that they once revered so generously again!”

Sodalite crossed their arms, giving Moonstone a harsh look that only seemed to spark and glint behind their clearly aesthetic accessory of framed glass. Moonstone met their gaze, tears leaking from her eyes as she clenched her fists hard enough to bore into the cushion of her palms. She barely felt the pain; it was nothing compared to the agonizing hole that had been ripped through her chest, the part of herself that she knew she would never be able to replace, never be able to rebuild. The Gem that she once was had been damaged irrevocably, and she could either strive to find a way to cope or simply end it all. The latter option was looking better and better to her as time stretched on.

Sodalite adjusted their glasses and heaved a bored sigh. “Please, Moonstone, enough with the dramatics. Everyone knows that the part of Morganite that was gifted with planning and command of the cosmic connections was you; that’s part of why the Authority kept you around. But in order to _keep_ you around, or to feel as though they still need to, you’re going to have to prove useful to them even without—”

“Don’t you _dare_ speak her name, you filthy, unpolished shard of dirt!”

Sodalite simply sighed and drew their sword from their gem just below their collarbone. Moonstone drew her pearlescent scythe from her back and prepared for combat; perhaps if she played her cards right, she would be able to successfully pull off a suicide right here and now, leaving no one the wiser that her fight with Sodalite was anything more than an unfortunately common case of insubordination. She twirled her crystalline scythe effortlessly in her hands, preparing to jet forward and strike at Sodalite’s sword, giving them no choice but to engage her in combat. Before she knew it, though, she felt her limbs seize and her body go limp; it was as though a lightning bolt had diffused through her system and left her incapacitated and immobile.

“There’s no need for the loss of any esteemed Gems this evening, Moonstone…do you think that I would really be so quick and so naïve to fall for such an easy ploy?”

Sodalite de-materialized their weapon and extended their arm just in time to catch Moonstone as her knees collapsed. Her body lolled limply over Sodalite’s limb as the austere blue Gem simply hoisted the defeated Moonstone over their shoulder. A single glassy tear slipped off the tip of Moonstone’s nose as Sodalite trekked back to the nearest warp pad with her. She closed her eyes, and attempted to do the same to the world, just as Sodalite’s gentle words caressed her ears.

“You’re going to be alright. You can’t give up yet.”


End file.
